Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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