sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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