I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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