You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
