He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize