I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
