3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
