I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
