Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
