Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
