I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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