Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
