just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize