Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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