It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
