I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
