:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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