I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
