All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
