um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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