I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
