oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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