I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
