i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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