All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
