I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
