Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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