when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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