So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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