I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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