What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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