At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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