I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
