She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
