dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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