The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
