I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
