id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
