I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
