please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
