I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
