I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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