Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
