She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
