I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
