Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
