Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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