No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize