Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize