I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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