Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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