Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
