Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
