I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
