Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
