I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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