I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
