i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
