Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
