your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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